In our home, Marc and I have struck a deal. I do not take out the trash and he is never asked to clean toilets. In the area of helping with house work, Marc is a true gem. But I have solemnly promised to never ask him to clean toilets. He would refuse anyway, so why bother? This seemed like a reasonable deal. However, sometimes my busy gem-of-a-husband "forgets" to take out the trash. So...Friday I decided to help out, go above and beyond and take out the trash. There was 4 inches of snow on the ground and Brennan and Bailey were enjoying themselves immensly throwing snowballs. I headed out of the house with two heavy bags of trash. Marc's leave-a-lot-to-be-desired trash system is a few barrels with a huge piece of plywood on top. This plywood is extremly heavy when wet...heavier still with snow on top...heavier still with huge fallen tree limbs precariously balanced on the roof of the pump house and hanging down onto the plywood. I carefully labored to lift the plywood and heaved in one bag of trash (I'm panting now)...all the while being pelted with snowballs by Brennan Jake (very funny Brennan). I lifted the second bag of trash and then....the giant limbs fell onto the plywood, knocking snow and the huge piece of plywood onto me. I fell onto the second bag of trash with the limb, snow and plywood on top of me. The dog started licking me, a Fruit Loops box fell out of the barrel and onto my chest, dumping the wonderfully sticky and fragrant powder from the bottom of the box down onto my neck and chest. The dog started licking me and Brennan capitalized on his opportunity to hit me in the head with snowballs, while laughing devilishly (really Brennan...you should stop now!). It was WONDERFUL. I had coffee grounds on my elbow, I was sticky and smelled like fruit loops and dog slobber and there was snow between my face and glasses, so I couldn't see. Fabulous.
And this is why I DO NOT take out the trash....EVER.
